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Remember how in my last entry I jokingly considered registering my diary with a sex search engine? Well, I did it yesterday and when I checked my stats, I was surprised to see that I was getting a jizzload of hits from Sexsearch.com. Turns out that for some reason or other (most likely "other" because "some reason" would be the abundance of porn on my site, which there isn't) my site was being bombarded. So I checked it out and I saw this under the voting poll:
PUSSY DICK HARDCORE FUCKFEST TOTALLY FREE PUSSY DICK HARDCORE FUCKFEST. THOUSANDS OF PICTURES GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU HARD...WHEN YOU'RE DONE, DON'T FORGET TO WIPE OFF YOUR STICKY MONITOR. HA HA HA! Neato jam eh? They advertised my site and the description I wrote up for it. On to other drivel... Today when horsemanure and I were on our way to White Spot for some yummy eats, we spotted a beggar sitting on the island between both directions of traffic. We were at a stop light so were were free to gawk and giggle from the protection of my car. I don't usually find homeless people funny. Quite the opposite actually...well that is if frightened is the opposite of amused. I almost guarantee you that everytime I'm solicited for spare change I get this terrified look on my face. I've seen that movie Alive starring hunkalicious Ethan Hawke. I know what measures people will go to if hungry. And just because my name is located smack dab in the middle of the word hamberger, if in fact hamburger was spelled with an e instead of a u, it doesn't mean that i'm as tasty. O yeah, the homeless guy. He was pretty young looking, about early 20's, and he was huddling under a threadbare blanket with a cardboard sign that read "Please give me money." For what? Food? A new pair of Adidas? A transvestite hooker to keep your cardboard box warm? Be specific boy! But it wasn't his understandable need of money that had horsemanure and i in hysterics. It was the sullen look the guy had. His mouth was turned downwards not unlike really terrible actors (such as that hottie Miguel from my favourite soap opera Passions) trying to look sad. I don't know. It just looked so fake. I could almost imagine him getting out of his beamer, tossing his cell phone in the back, changing into something less presentable than his three piece Armani suit, then psyching himself up by throwing a few punches Rocky style, grunting "Time to bring home the bacon!" Then right before he sits his ass down on the pavement he takes both his index fingers, places them at the corners of his mouth, then pulls downwards as he sighs in his head "Awww yeah, I look sad! I'll be raking in the cash." Man, I'm so heartless. Like Paula Abdul sings... Since we're on the topic of Paula Abdul...did anyone apart from me go to her concert? Lemme know. I think I was in grade 6 so I guess that was around 1991. That show was so dope, especially when MC Skat Kat made an appearance on a giant screen to sing the Opposites Attract duet with Paula. Yes, Paula and I are on a first name basis. I taught her all her moves. If not for me, she never would have made Laker girl for that brief time period right before they fired her. Ha ha, I lie. I am an absolutely suck ass dancer. I have no rhythm whatsoever. Whenever we go to a club I'm like a high danger natural disaster because there's no telling where my wrath will next be felt. My ill maneuvers may be part of the reason I never get picked up on in clubs. So once I deal with my dance moves, personality, and looks the boys should come a runnin! And I'll be ready with my personal library of Star Trek movies so we can have a fun filled night of non stop orgasmic delight. prev | next |
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