Finals are bearing down upon me and I came to a strange realization: In order to concentrate I need to dress like a hawaiian...well, a tourist in hawaii at least. I dunno, do native hawaiians actually wear floral shirts, or do they sit back and mock all the suckahs who wear them? I've got a nice mini-collection of luau gear courtesy of... hrmm, i wonder how those clothes got into my closet? Well, the blue mumu with neon green and orange flowers was a gift from my grandma... it was also my mock wedding dress. I've also got a bright orange and purple shirt and a cool blue shirt with giant orangey pineapples on it. I throw on some jeans, roll up the cuffs, jam my feet in some flip flops, braid my hair, perch my coo sunglasses atop my head and I'm ready to go! Please tell me I'm not the only one with quirky little study modes. I guess dressing like that cheers me up in an otherwise drab and depressing world. And during my study breaks I sit back and relax...and imagine myself the main character in the latest episode of Baywatch: Hawaiian style! I'm sitting on the beach building a massive sand tribute to hunky hotster David Hasselhoff. Ech did I say the D-man? Nasty! I meant ermm... Erik Estrada, that hot boy from Making the Band. Anyways, I'm busy piling the sand over Erik's crotch because it's well known that he's hung like a dinosaur, when I hear a deep guttural cry for help. The whole baywatch cast is busy engaged in some jello flinging orgy so I'm the only one left to help the distressed. I whip out my trusty telescope from my bag, put it up to my eye, and yell "Ahoy matey!" as i spot a tanned hard body just off shore. I throw on a life jacket, squeeze my arms into my yellow floaties, put on my fins and run into the ocean. 45 minutes later I arrive at the victim's location, panting but still doggie paddling. "What seems to be the problem sir?" I yell over the not quite raging waters. My eyes widen as I realize the man before me is none other than Erik Estrada (the cute one doofs, not the dude from CHIPS). He throws a sly smirk my way "Well, I seem to have lost my trunks!" I raise a lone eyebrow a la The Rock. I smile and Erik laughs at the audible "Ting!" that the sunlight makes when it hits my teeth. He smiles. I smile back. Demurely. Cue the porno music and roll the credits!

Hotdamn, have you all been watching Making the Band? Be still my heart!

In other news...I am incredibly sore. Thursday morning I was walking around upstairs when i managed to trip over my own feet and I tumbled head first down my carpeted but very steep steps. It was just like in the movies, I was bouncing from wall to wall, somersaulting and going oof ack ow Help! like a human slinky. Props to stunt people. Props people, props!

Weirdness is genetic right? I'm a little strange although people actually tell me to my face "You're weird amber!" even though I don't think I'm a complete freak...what's that mean?. So today my sister downloaded some cool songs from napster: some inspector gadget remix, a smurfs techno song, and sisqo's thong song. The heady combination of the music and last night's viewing of The Full Monty made something in me snap. So I grabbed my mom's super ugly teal, purple, and black checkered blazer, threw it on, donned her red govna hat sideways, wrapped a scarf around my neck, and yelled from the hallway for desiree to put on some dancing music! The music starts...a lone hand peeks out from behind the wall... my fingers start to wiggle. I take giant steps to the center of the room and start moving to the rhythm. By the time sisqo is crying "Let me see that THONG!!!!" I've flung off the blazer and scarf, and I'm twirling the hat like a baton. What fun.

Speaking of smurfs...what's the deal with diaryland folk obsessed with the cute little blue munchkins? There's i-am-unique, smurf420, smurf, smurfgeek, and smurfettz. Perhaps I should jump on the i heart smurfs bandwagon. Except I'll love them because they're tasty little critters. I was having a smurfing smurf discussion with this guy the other day:

l: can we make smurf fur coats?
me: uh...they're not very hairy i don't think. i mean, do people make dolphin fur coats? I don't think so suckah.
l: they have skin. I want smurf skin luggage and smurf patte. They might taste pretty smurfin' good.
me: smurf spam. yum. smurftastic. the smurfburger. smurf eggs and ham. smurf syrup over blueberry smurfflles.
l: that's awesome. Blueberry Smurffles. If they ever decided to put out a food product by that name, I'd buy it. Smurf eggs? Hmm..
me: but instead of blueberry it would be smurf bits. it'd still be blue, plus it would taste sweeter! and to think of all the blueberries you could save. how about shishkesmurf?
l: I think they'd be red inside. But one can dream, can't they? Deep fried smurf. smurf flambe? smurf strips.
me: smurf fondue. smurf tempura. smurf mac. escarsmurf.
l: quarter smurfer with cheese. caesar smurf. bubble smurf. smurf on a stick. they're probably already in a hotdog.
me: smurfaroni and cheese. long island ice tea with a double shot of smurf. smurfsicle. smurf foo young. smurf pot pie. smurf cobbler. smurfitto and refried beans.
l: double smurfaccino. smurf nuts *giggle*. it's not delivery, it's smurficio. smurf chowder.
me: mwah! smurficio! ha ha! too much, too much! smurfchops and applesauce
l: rack of smurf with smurffles and smurflee for dessert.

Sounds good doesn't it?! *ahem* (adopting bad scottish accent) "Hey there little smurf! Get in my belly!" Infinitely better than haggis, don't you think?