I was looking through some old files and I found a document with some shit I�d written. The first excerpt is probably my only serious attempt at writing a poem. Realizing my obvious lack of talent, I ditched the actual �poetry� idea so the rest are just the result of my half-assed goofing off.

IRIDESCENCE
the immovable darkness spreads throughout
but for occasional prison breaks
where tear glistening stars cast dimly
a percussion symphony suddenly bursts forth
each atom in creation�s domain reverberates
violently colliding with its unwelcome neighbour
the clash of galaxies slowly recedes
and a lone figure remains motionless
contemplating the silence

These next ones are just my silliness projected into words...

COFFEE
Sombrero'd Juan leaks salt water
Arsed equestrian spark jumped
Spherical ellipses singed to a nestle
Binding corsets wring da mix
Nickel on termite food
Light bulb eyes.
"What, you want tea?!"
asked incredulously.

HEAVENLY
O Marilyn Manson
O devil most great
Bring to the world your psycho hate
You are heavenly

GARGLE
Medicine flavoured listerine
Tight ass-hugging acid wash jeans
Go away cavities, go I say.
Before I go to the dentist today
Gargle gargle gargle gargle
Smiling I drive, singing I warble.

COMMUNISM
Only one sugar cube each
Not Ice Cube, or Ice-T
You rapping freak.
Just glucose.
Or is it fructose?

COMMUNISM SQUARED
Give me the chili
Make me wait in line
What for?
Is flatulence rationed as well?

TREE
O old tree how old are you?
In your life what did you do?
Did you teach the young ballet?
Or supermodels to sashay?
Go RuPaul go RuPaul go
Let your glamour to me flow
O old tree let's count your rings
Hiding those exciting things

PERHAPS THE ROSES REALLY WANT TO GROW
Horse manure
Dung of cow
O fertilize me they cry.
Masochistic?
Or perhaps the roses really want to grow

BUCKTEETH
"Say it don't spray it!"
An often heard childhood taunt.
For me those buckteeth ever did haunt.
I cried & cried & cried & cried
My mother told me they were fine, she lied
Buckteeth.
O the cross I bear

UNUSUALLY GOOD COMPANY
Down on Davie, loose change in hand
Which boy tonight on my bed will land?
Long curly hair, looks like Jaromir Jagr
At least I'm not alone, from my heart you pulled the dagger
As I bounce on his five dollar knee
I find he is unusually good company.

LAUNDRY
Wash your own damn panties!
Doing this sucks, it ain't dandy.
Why don't you go to hell you bitch?