Shhh...I'm at work, but it's lunchtime, so never mind the shhh.

So last week during an o so busy day here, I decided to entertain myself with am i hot or not, this website where you can rate people's looks. Of course I'd give all the skanky ho girls who sent in pictures of themselves wearing thong bikinis a paltry 1 out of 10 (to bring down the average they so don't deserve) while the rest of the people i rated as i normally would. I found that most of the time, my ratings were a few points lower than the average so I thought, hotdamn, these people have low standards! What better way to get an ego boost than have *them* rate my looks! So I submitted the standard "look at me, i'm wearing a mr. potatohead costume for halloween" picture, sat back, and waited for the results. The next day I checked back in. Wow, I was rated by about 1500 people. And there's no way 1500 people could be wrong. The verdict? A 3.5. 3.5! That's not even average! I remember seeing a picture of this particularly ugly obese woman wearing an all white nurses outfit and thick magnifying glasses... You know what she got? A 1.5! So I'm only 2 points better than her... Sigh... Needless to say, I removed my picture from voting immediately. Being ugly totally sucks. And to top it all off, my boyfriend started going to the gym. So what happens when the person you stand next to starts looking even better? That's right, I start looking even uglier. Talk about a mismatched looking couple...kinda like Jack Sprat and his heiffer of a wife who was so ugly she didn't even deserve a name. I think when I go home I'm gonna scrounge up a recording of Janet Jackson's "Nasty boys", only I'll dub it so that "Amber" replaces every instance of "boys", then I'll listen to it looped for the whole night while I break all my mirrors and cry cry cry.

Nasty boys amber don't mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys amber don't mean a thing to me

Nasty... don't mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys amber

(I like this part)

Hey! Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts? Nasty boys amber!

Who's that in that nasty car? Nasty boys amber!

Who's that eatin' that nasty fruit? Nasty boys amber!

Who's jammin' to my nasty groove? Nasty boys amber!