mood: my leg is numb, is that a mood?
music: um...the furnace?
www: the simpsons

November 17, 2003
7:45 a.m.

dear lisa simpson

I wrote Lisa Simpson an email based on the address that was given out on yesterday's episode.

To: (can't have the internet spamming Lisa with porn and Viagra ads)
From: amber
Subject: Canadian in the Hizzouse.

Hiya Lisa,

At least I hope this is Lisa. I tried to catch your email address off of today's episode, but who knows, I may have gotten it wrong. For all i know you're a 63 year old call girl with a penchant for hairless cats.

But in case I did get this right...

Hiya Lisa!

So are there any new developments in the crush department? Lately I've been finding Data quite sigh-worthy. His nasally high-pitched voice is enough to make any girl swoon, don't you think? Sure, he's may not be a looker now, but he just might be when he grows up! Take Wil Wheaton for example... No, that's not right... Corey Feldman? No...dangit, I know it's someone from Standy By Me. Oh yeah, that fat kid from My Secret Identity. You know, the one with the Oscar calibre role in Kangaroo Jack!

Anways, best of luck with your very bright future. Bart will probably try and hit you up for money for the rest of his life, so here's some advice... Three words: unlisted phone number.

Well, take care and write back!


On an entirely unrelated note... I've had my period for 3 weeks. I think I'm dying! Maybe I have that disease that's associated with sickly little English princes. Er...somethingphilia... Hemophilia! No for serious, I'm dying. Help me.

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