My friend mag is such a punk because she thought it would be really funny if she led her parents to believe I'm a lesbian. har har. Here's the story. I was over at her house just hanging out and we were talking about gay people i.e. Richard Simmons, and while she was doodling she scrawled "Amber is gay = lesbian" on a piece of paper and then started laughing because she thought it was the funniest thing (BTW, Mag is notorious for her mediocre sense of humour). So later on her parents found the note and confronted her with it demanding "Is it true? Is Amber a lesbian? Is she is she?!" But rather than tell them the truth, she thought it would be more entertaining if she played along. So she was all "Yeah, Amber IS a lesbian. Why do you think she comes over so often? She must LIKE me." or something to that effect...I don't know exactly what she said. And everyday her parents would hassle her about me, the "lesbian" friend.

When I went over to mag's house for dinner last month, I assumed that the whole lesbian confusion was cleared up. But just as with my pitiful attempts to answer midterm questions, I was wrong wrong wrong. Sarah's mom was telling this story about how when mag was young, she always used to rave about her best friend: "O mummy, my best friend is so pretty. I'm so lucky she's my friend." Then mag says to her parents "You probably thought I was a lesbian, just like Amber!" But holy shat, you should've seen the look her parents gave her... I could tell what the stare meant: "Don't bring up lesbians in front of Amber. We know she's one and this could get uncomfortable so shut up!"

I don't know what to do about this whole mag household "Anti-lesbian/Anti-Amber" thing. And to think her parents actually used to think pretty highly of me! But now...mang.

Plan A: Maybe the next time I'm over I should bring over a bunch of male porno magazines with names like "HHH: Hot, Hairy, and Horny", "Wang: It's Your Thang", and "Men: Like 'em, Love' em, Lick 'em." Then when her parents spot them on the kitchen counter, I can walk over and say "OOps, I forgot to put my literature away."

Plan B: Wear pink ALL the time to decrease my "butch" factor.

Read mag's critique of this entry.